e-zekiel:

okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too

but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time

and then another person fell

and another

and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting

and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy

(via unspoken-words-)

(Source: colorthedistance)

“When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.” He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…” Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”

sodamnrelatable:

oh my god

BEST JOKE.

THIS JOKE SHALL BE TOLD FOREVER

(Source: caplan)

(via l-dispute)

(Source: cens0re, via cr4sh-4nd-burn)

Jon Stewart, explaining to young people why books are awesome.

(Source: sofuckingbeautifulbaby, via madamepotato)

ilymorgannn:

Dolphins see themselves in a mirror

everyone should stop and reblog dolphins in a mirror

Dolphin: NO WONDER THE ICE CAPS ARE MELTING. IM FUCKIN HOT.

sassy dolphins.

makes me sad to see them in tanks but this is so cute

(Source: live-it-out, via cr4sh-4nd-burn)

(Source: istillloveparamore, via thegreatashby)

iloveyoubutyouarefictional:

jarjarbinkzz:

It’s all fun and games until you remember the person you were from 2007-2010.

this is actually incredibly exactly correct

(Source: zubat, via madamepotato)